5 more minutes. Oh that dream was so good…where was I….shoot! 5 more minutes. Okay, really what I am going to wear? I have to wash my hair, no I could put my hair in a bun. Wear that black skirt, grey top, grey scarf, black flats, okay that’s fine…okay really Lauren get up. One day, I won’t hit snooze…Shower time…stop thinking. Calm down. Okay let’s think…water’s too hot. Which body wash should I use? This one, no this one, okay that one. What do I have to do today? RAW, work, call him back…call her back…shoot I haven’t blogged…ugh she hates me, I haven’t returned her calls…I wonder what he’s doing, who cares not important…don’t forget lunch in the fridge. Have to tell the family I’ll be late today. Dry off…get dressed…what time is it…makeup time, turn on the radio, why do I listen to this station, it cracks me up, but it is so vulgar… At least they play good music, yeah every half hour. Oh my gosh stop thinking, what time is it…ugh ten minutes, great, okay that’s it…get your breakfast lets go… think positive. Calories, don’t forget. I know it’s fine…stay focused. I have a lot to do. You can handle it. Breathe. 
What time is it…shoot…Going to be late, I’m always late. No you make yourself late. Why do I procrastinate? I swear this is a sick disease…I want to check my Facebook…no wait till the bus. Okay say goodbye to the family…Alright walking to bus, grab phone…God, I love New York. No, I am addicted to my freakin’ phone…so is everyone else…wait to look at the phone for 5 minutes Lauren seriously. Okay waiting for bus, now I can look at the phone…this isn’t healthy…Wait how much is on my metro card, shoot I don’t remember am I okay, what if I don’t have enough, its fine its always fine relax, okay here’s my bus…Quick mirror check, my hair alright…yes okay don’t stare at yourself people will hate you. I miss driving…Say hello to the bus driver…first seat…no second seat…okay third seat. Pick up your bag, be courteous. Alright back to the phone…la la la, delete delete delete…ugh I hate junk emails, ut oh…what did they say…oh great…okay…another problem, breathe…stay calm. Add to do list. Think. Problem, solution. Deal with it when you get to the office. Oh, I love her top. Facebook check…oh interesting…don’t care, please don’t tag me, oh that’s funny, I miss her, that’s cute..okay enough. iPod on, time to check out. God where would I be without music….this city is so beautiful. I love New York. I can’t believe I live in New York. Great, they had to choose to sit next to me. Should I say hello. I would rather not. That’s rude. It’s honest. At least they don’t smell. This song is so good. What is it about iPod’s and day dreaming…I can do this all day. I swear this driver! Every day I increase my chances of dying on public transit. This is why I should I just get married. So stupid. Your young. Who cares, life is so uncertain, no but you have dreams. Be patient. I wonder what he’s doing…is he the one…who cares…not important…focus. Will he move here…it’s in God’s hands…oh Central Park is so pretty…I can’t believe I pass this every day One day I’ll have the door man…I love men in suits. Oh nice shoes. I love a man that can dress. I swear 5th Avenue never gets old…dog walkers, I wonder what else they do…are they happy…how much do they get paid…oh I should probably create a spreadsheet for that…shoot I was going to do that yesterday…I haven’t heard from…should ask her to do this for me…what time is it in California…1,2,3…okay mom’s asleep, I’ll text her later. God this bus driver is slow. Great now I have to pee….what street are we on…how many stops is that…1,2,3,4,5,6…shoot. I can hold it…I really need to..I really miss my friends…who’s birthday’s are coming up…don’t forget…why is it when you hold your bladder you get horny..how does that even work…ugh. I wonder what it will be like the first time…or…if…ugh…okay focus…next song….ahh dirty thought…stay focused…I wonder how guys think…is this normal…okay…if only these people knew what I was thinking…ahaha…visual…ahh…I want that bag…I like that in yellow…hope she doesn’t spill her coffee…oh how cute…seriously…does he think about me this much…I’m seriously crazy, I’m a Libra…I wonder what they’re thinking, he looks stressed…shoot what time is it…ah, yep definitely going to be late…I need to leave earlier…yes you know this…there are so many people in the city…should I grab coffee…I wonder if…oh, don’t forget to email…no you can get it for free at the office…that coffee sucks…where should I go…place by the train or place by work…uh er…what time is it….re-apply lip gloss…okay…what street are we at…ahhh I love this song…shoot I have to pee…I should probably stop here…go pee…order…get on train….go straight into work…okay yeah that sounds good…gosh I miss him…how annoying…okay say goodbye to the driver…ahh fresh air…seriously, I love New York…alright work or here…no here…open the door…stand in line or pee first…line, order then pee, pick up coffee and then train…okay…yes…what time is it…

My vow was to write every week. It’s been over a month. Over 3 months in NYC, feels like 3 years. The insight of the typical AM work week thoughts…my day hasn’t even begun.

Consider your stream of consciousness, does it repeat? Do you control your thoughts or they control you?

Welcome to New York.

(Source: laurenlien.com)

“Smile, we are surrounded by fame” as my new friend and partner in crime James Wells whispered to me. There we were surrounded by cameras and icons while standing on the SMASH set in Staten Island. He quickly adjusted the snarl on my face as my eyes burned from the atmospheric smoke. A week prior we had met on the set of my first production gig in the city - SMASH. I remember when the trailer first played in my parents house in California. I was so thrilled I pronounced- I WILL be on that show. One month later into the city I booked featured background 5 times. Lucky to be amongst some of Hollywood’s most respected stars, not to mention a Spielberg production. I laughed at myself thinking of all the times I talked smack on the ‘extra’ jobs in LA. Here I was, one of them….or was I? 

The 2nd day I worked SMASH I almost broke my neck walking to the powder room. In a room with 200 strangers, sitting down was one of my high school alumni, Sarah. Triple take. My Apple Valley childhood; we were on the same basketball team and had the honor of winning homecoming court. She was one of the most beautiful and popular girls in school. Now our paths cross again. I obviously went to say hello and played a brief catch up. My respect grew for her seeing as she made the venture east. After catching up via social media and St. Patty’s shenanigans, I knew there was a deeper reason for this crossing. I was told once before, the German’s believe you always cross paths with those (that leave a lasting impression on you) twice. After the 2nd meeting if you don’t click, you will never see each other again. Interesting concept, but what intrigues me is that I am a firm believer I will see everyone again. Always mind the past and make things right…who you see on the way up or down is unpredictable. You never know who may be your angel…

Frustrated with venue searching for RAW Brooklyn and the politics that reside, I had come to a cross roads if I had to leave NY or give up the dream and find a day job. Responsibility of the real world was starting to settle in and I knew regardless of the way plan A fell through I was meant to stay in NYC. Without a doubt, the time is now for me here. By the grace of God and perfect timing, the company Sarah works for just happened to be hiring - naturally its in entertainment and just what I need to get me on my feet. Sitting across from her in an office on Friday I giggled thinking how strange life is; 10 years ago we froze to death sitting on top of a convertible as we were chauffeured around a football stadium. Now we meet again in the grandest city of all. 

Every single day in New York City is different. Not a single one to compare to the other. The culture, the smell, the languages, the sound, the pace, the weather, the fashion…I can’t take it in fast enough. Beginning to believe you have not lived until you have spent even a few months of your life in NY. It’s as if you are looking inside a crystal ball of the entire world; being several places at once.

This has been my dream since I was a little girl. To live in the city while I was still single and working on my career. I wanted to walk the streets of Manhattan by myself, hail a cab, eat alone and smile freely while jammin’ to my iPod on the subway. Mission complete.

We create our own destiny. Our decisions lead us on different paths - but I do believethe outcome is always inevitable. That outcome is our destiny. I strongly believe God has planted dreams in our heart and through Him we can achieve it. I’m sure others have achieved greatness without belief, but my oh my is it lonely at the top. Love and gratitude are God’s genetic code, these are the fundamentals to happiness. Those are the emotions we feel once we have found our right path. We may not receive every gift in the perfect wrapping, but it is always what we need. The wish list will come true, so long as you follow the code of love and gratitude. Who you are supposed to be with, the career you are supposed to have, the family that takes you in and those you call your children. In some way, shape or form we find exactly what we need in time.

Keep an open mind. 

When we are blinded by fear or impatience we often make the wrong decision which only leads us to the inevitable. However derailed, we find the track again and begin to carry on increasing speed. The more centered we are the faster our lives become. We slow down or take a stop because we missed something. Possibly a learning lesson or often a distraction which comes from lack of focus.

LIVING is black and white. There is NO SHORTCUT. When we choose to take them we only are guided back to the starting point. Who we are and who we are supposed to be are the same. The only thing we can control is when we want to start being that person. Although we can not decide what lies ahead we can set our eyes on the prize and never let it out of sight until it rests in our hands. For many that moment may not come until they meet death.  When will you be ready? Can you handle the truth? Are you willing to accept that what lies ahead are strategic struggles and obstacles to help YOU and only YOU learn just how to get EVERYTHING on your wish list?


As if life is a personalized maze; handcrafted and measured flawlessly for you to learn and accept your destiny…we can get lost, want to give up, feel alone or decide to turn around, but rest assured there is only ONE way out. Through the maze.

(Source: laurenlien.com)

Sitting in a hotel room after demolishing a bag of Rice Works chips. Just hung up the phone with my best friend, yes the one who got married whom we learned of last October. My eyes filled with tears and heart heavy with emotion to think of our different worlds and the bond we share. The amount of changes that have occurred since the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve is nothing short of the amount of yellow cabs passing 50th and Broadway in a half hour period.

Let’s recap. Poppin’ sparkling wine in a Las Vegas Venetian suite for the 2012 beginning. Received the infamous romantic midnight phone call from the man who may play out to ride a white horse. One week later, flirtatiously haggling deals in Mexico during the RAW producers cruise. Cut to tearful goodbyes at LAX with my parents. Arrived in Nashville for a short emotional roller coaster, seeing familiar faces and swallowing future realities; all the while my heart is growing and learning what love really is. What feels like seconds later, I’m crammed in a truck cabin staring out at the north country passing state line after state line till we hit the New York skyline. Not knowing when my next paycheck will come. Anxiety attack approaching. Faith controlling.

BAM. Three weeks later I welcome the Theater District with open arms as I await peace of mind. The living situation which was promised has seemed to come to a hault. Not knowing if I was a fool to believe in such a deal or if there is a lesson in patience. Everything I preach is of following your intuition so I could not be wrong I ponder…but we are all human and we all make mistakes. Now I am forced to have a back up plan.

I assumed I would be writing this blog about the fashionable clothes and the magical events that happened at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Nope. After minding my business and asking for a retainer for my writing services, I was told I knew nothing about this business and lost the opportunity. Funny how hurt I was over such a remark, real funny to think of what I would have wrote if I shared that experience during the headlines.

Young, ambitious professionals have their work cut out for them. Not only must you compete with those more experienced, you must deal with old egos. Its not easy for older, accomplished people to accept new meat with nothing but talent and youth on their side. The glass ceiling will always be there, the wise ones will choose to open the door for you as we are assets with a fresh outlook. The world is changing and one day we will ALL make room for the FUTURE. Many resist.

We never know the network or support that lies behind each individual we meet. We must never underestimate or make assumptions. The power of our network is something we hold dear. Never to brag or be self righteous. These will be revealed in the wash. True confidence comes from this support. It is the shield when we are harmed or offended. It gives us the ability to get back up and march again. When one door closes we must not take it personal, but rather be grateful because many times it would not have served us in our best interest. Keep track of those who have harmed you and those who have helped you. This is the list you must not forget. Gratitude must be the focus or we will quickly change teams.

If I had to label this chapter it would be titled HELP. There isn’t a single thing I can do right now without it. Then we mix in patience because certain decisions are out of our hands. Especially the circumstances that create our destiny. Sprinkled with faith cause that is the only fuel that gives us longevity till the end.

An interesting time we live in. Quite possibly on the brink of World War III. Reality folks, time to pay attention. No need to fear. If you have a purpose you will stay, if your time has expired, you will go. Tis the season of reflection and to make a choice. To live with purpose, affecting positive change and growth. To live with selfish intent, fear and depression. We can choose to embrace the change that is delivered or fight it. However, since time is all we truly have its about TIME we start to CONTROL how we USE it.

If we all lived with the single purpose to help, to pay it forward, to love - everyone. Regardless the cost, there would be NO room for darkness. This cycle is no accident, it is brilliantly structured for us to stay on track. The challenge is to find where to get on. Pay it forward is a lifestyle. A one way ticket. Once you have accepted this mentality there is no other way to live. A community where everyone receives and everyone gives. This is winning.

Awareness starts now.

(Source: )